Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Arranged Marriage

"I have heard arranged marriages are big in India." My colleague (American) had said just a few weeks prior to my vacation. "I find it interesting. Your parents choose your match and you simply follow. Does is not sound like you are taking risk with your life?" I began formulating the answer even I did not know and have always dreaded. "But then even here our marriages can and do fail after people choose their life partner themselves. So I guess it all depends on each person and his or her ability to adjust in life", she had answered herself after contemplating for a few minutes.

Yes. Adjust. Compromise. It did sound scary initially. What if she does not like rock music? What if she does not like sandwiches? What if she does not enjoy rain? What if she does everything by consulting her astrologer? What if she is sick of traveling? What if she makes me watch 'Kyon ki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi' type serials? What if she does not like kids? What if she is not flexible? What if she does not like Ducktales? Horror!!

Jokes apart, for 99% of us mortals, marriage is the single biggest decision in our life, and thus one of the most difficult decisions. I mean, if one has to stay with her for about 40-50 years (clearly I am not being pessimistic, just realistic), share nitty-gritty of his life, raise a family, manage emotions in good and bad times, maintain good relations between all stakeholders without sacrificing too many of his personal interests, how in the world does finding the correct life partner sound like an easy task which can be achieved over a four week vacation? And then how can I be so sure that my elders know the best for me? I mean, they are my elders and all that. But to add to complications I am here across the seven seas. How well do they know my conditions to make an informed decision? Or would they rely on outdated memories and telephonic conversations to arrive at hasty judgment that I will be forced to follow for rest of my life? Furthermore, marriage is not just between her and I, but it will be union of our entire families. How can I know that I or for that matter she will be accepted in the 'other' family as readily? There are hundreds of such questions. How and where does one search for the answers?

I didn't know answer to a single question posed. But maybe I was not required to. So in that moment so unlike me, I said yes and I got engaged a couple of days later to P. And when I look back and think about it now just after a week, I feel I am so ready for my arranged marriage. :-)

signing off,

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

खिचडी

तुम्हाला पडवळाचा मुरंबा करता येतो? म्हणजे, पुलंच्या शब्दांत, एक पडवळ घ्यावं, ते उभं चिरावं, वगैरे वगैरे. माझी (खरं सांगायचं तर आमच्या बाबांची) एक पाककृती, जी मी पुढे लिहिणार आहे, तिचं नावंच ऐकून लोक तो मुरंबा खाल्ल्यासारखं तोंड करतात. साबुदाण्याची खिचडी? कांदा घालून?? पावनं, बरं वाटत नाही का काय?

आपल्याकडे साबुदाण्याला एक स्थान आहे, ते म्हणजे फक्त उपवासाच्या खाण्यात. नाही म्हणलं तरी, वड्यांनी साबुदाण्याला थोडंसं "चमचमीत खाणं" या सदरात आणण्याचा एक क्षीण प्रयत्न केला पण तोही फसला. आता तर अशी अवस्था आहे की साबुदाणा म्हणलं की डोळ्यासमोर एखादी मूर्ती, नाकासमोर उदबत्तीचा वास (ज्याने मला खोकला येतो) यायलाच पाहीजे. अशा वातावरणात, तुम्हीच सांगा, कांदा अश्या अत्यंत अधार्मिक प्रवृत्तीच्या मुलाशी साबुदाण्याच्या खिचडीसारख्या सुशील मुलीचं कोणता बाबा लग्न लावून देईल? (मी सध्या "मार्केट"मध्ये असल्याने माझ्या उपमाही तशाच)

पण जर तुम्ही असल्या पुरोगामी विचारांचे नसाल आणि नुसते पोहे उपमा खाउन कावले असाल तर कधीतरी एखाद्या रविवारी कु़टुंब माहेरी किंवा किटी पार्टीला गेल्याची संधी साधून ही खिचडी ट्राय मारा.

एक वाटी साबुदाणा - दोन-अडीच वाटी पाण्यात धुउन दीड-दोन तास भिजवून ठेवा.ते भिजले की त्यातलं जास्तीचं पाणी काढून त्यात चवीनुसार दाण्याचा कूट, मीठ, थोडंसं तिखट आणि चिमूटभर साखर टाकून बाजूला ठेवा.एक कांदा आणि एक हिरवी मिरची बारीक चिरा. कढईत तेल गरम करून त्यात जिरे तडतडू द्या. ते झालेले वाटले की मिरची नि कांदा परतून घ्या. कांदा "मस्त तेल मैं फ्राय" करून झाला की त्यामध्ये साबुदाणा व इतर जिन्नस मिसळा व झाकण ठेउन शिजू द्या. साधारण १५/२० मिनिटांनी ते उतरवा व वर ओला खवलेला नारळ आणि "बारीक कटा हुआ हरा धनिया" भुरभुरवून गरम गरम खा.

आणि ती खाऊन "अजि मी आज ब्रम्हांड पाहिले" असे वाटले नाही तर सांगा.

येतो मग,