Tools

Ability to use a tool is so important these days. Even gorillas are feeling the heat. :-)

Their manager would be happy with this month's metrics.

Link courtesy Amit Varma.

signing off,

Gladiator

They are showing Gladiator on tbs this Friday. Now tbs network is famous for comedies. Like Friends, Everybody Loves Raymond, Sex and the City, Seinfeld and the list goes on. But Gladiator is not a comedy movie, you'd argue. No sir, it ain't so even for tbs. But the way they are showing the promos is quite funny! They initially show some gladiators fighting soldiers and animals and then camera zooms on Russel Crowe while narrator says, "If your parents named you Maximus Decimus Meridius, you'd be a little ticked off too!" Then da da da da and finally Maximus says "I'll have my vengeance!"

Considering your situation, had Crowe been wearing Elvis dress it would have been very funny, but still it is pretty darn funny. Go, nku, have yourself a laugh. Not that loud though!

signing off,

J-Tagged

My friend the man himself, has tagged me recently. Surrounded by various asset management teams these days, I mistook that for a J-Tag. Now for those who don't know a J-Tag, you can drop me a mail for an elaborate answer. I don't want to waste my blog space in work related stuff.

So coming back to the tagging business. I have been blogging for a year now so I know quite many things about tags. I also know that I should not blurt out the truth while responding to tags. But for my dear readers which include many respectable names, I resist that temptation and here are the answers, in all random order (but if you do intermittently feel some tensile force on your lower appendages, I am pulling your leg):

5 bands I know all the words to: Blame my ears. They cannot even decipher Bappi Lahiri's clearly uttered words. How can you expect them to know anything else? But after using googleing with some of the randomly heard words and patching other missing sentences, I can say I know quite many words of Backstreet's Boys and Britney Spears. If only I knew that they were bad singers before investing so much time in this ... tch tch tch

5 places I'd run away to: Kitchen, Bathroom, Bedroom, Balcony and Terrace. In short home. On more serious note, given a choice I'd run to Goa (with all vj people), Munnar, Mumbai, any riverbank to walk upon and any seashore.

5 favorite tv shows: Man, now you are asking good questions. I love Takeshi's Castle with Javed Jafferey's commentary on Pogo tv. Also it's grandpa version which used to air on DD metro in Fun Time (I forgot its name!). Malgudi Days to copy from the tagger. Giant Robot was quite cool. Everybody Loves Raymond is nice too. For Debra especially :-) And Shaanti. The original soap opera the episodes of which, I still remember, we used to discuss in school!

5 years ago: I was on a high. Don't misunderstand. Not on high heels. But you know that time in third year engineering when everything till now has gone your way, you have good grades, good rapport, good job in hand (though job in software was something nagging me - which I have now settled in :-)). And probably I could not have expected the shocks which just came in few months after. But overall, good times.

5 snacks: I am not a food buff, I have realized these days. If you eat samosa with gajar sabji as filling and panipuri with peanuts, you'd not blame me for not being so. But old habits die hard. I truly like kanda pohe with good tea, idli (preferably from Krishna Cafe) with good coffee (from same place), Parle G with good tea, vada pav with mirchi & with good tea. For those who don't understand kanda pohe, it is avalakki bath for Bangalore and poha for northies. Dunno about other regions too well. And vada pav is aloo bonda + bun (with pun).

5 favorite toys: My mobile phone was closest to me. It was Nokia 8210 model, with no frills attached. But man I used to love it. Right now it is with my friend thousands of miles away. I miss you buddy. Next in line is tv remote. I love switching channels and trying to figure out the program/advertisement/song or whatever the idiot box is showing in 1.38 s interval in between. Next I used to like my walkman while I used to listen to my cassettes. I still remember I used to go everywhere with my walkman on and people used to laugh at me. But I never cared, or in fact I could not have cared while listening to music. Then I like my earphones. I cannot imagine myself without them any time of day. Even now I have them on! Last but not the least, I like rolling pin and knives. To make rotis that is.

5 things I'd never wear in public: My birthday suit. Orange trousers. Fluorescent green shirts. Kilt. Poncho. Why was that question asked? I'd never know.

One year ago: Everything was 5 till now. Suddenly it has come down to one. My mind wonders why. But you should not ask why here. So one year ago. I guess I was preparing for two upcoming birthdays, first and ninth. I remember, on first birthday the birthday boy treated us in Amoeba bowling alley and then lunch at Angeethi's. Also it was kind of a year ago that I started out this blog. So I'd have been busy writing, deleting, adding, correcting, typing, erasing, improvising, clipping and stuff.

5 things I'd do with $100 million: I'd get myself a home in good enough locality, get myself a tv, computer, broadband internet, good cable connection, dvd player, some hollywood+bollywood movies, good snacks (which I mentioned above), a couch. And then I'd go out for a stroll.

Yesterday: I started writing this blog.

5 greatest joys: Sleeping is quite a joy. Not many people admire it. But even better joy, to copy from some forward, is waking up at some insane hour at 7:00 AM and finding out that you can sleep for 15 more minutes! Bliss! I love walking too. Without any destination, just set out for some direction and keep walking. Especially with friends. Being with friend has brought some of the happiest moments for me. Then as I have realized recently, I love giving surprises. To myself. And then I love watching people smile. That's a recent development.

Ten years ago: I guess I was in 11th standard. Being a nerd. Trying to figure out how the hell can I understand those JEE problems.

What is this blog about? May be you will be able to tell me better. Especially after reading all this.

I refuse to pass on the tag. Because of my policy on forwards. :-) Didn't you read word Nerd somewhere?

signing off,

Nightmare for a Data Anlayst

When you want to write a macro to combine all the data in 105 different Excel spreadsheet, you name it Sub MergeData(). What if it behaves like its fiendish friend Submerge Data()?

I need some sleep :-)

signing off,

Why Limit Yourself?

They say I have got to finish the story in 55 words. By the way, how many lines can you write in 55 words? 4? 5? How can I write a story in just 4 lines? I need more space. Why should I stop at 55? Are they going to... HEY!! Don’t snatch my pen! (55 words)

Come to think of it, I can try.

She sensed it first. Today he was not the person she remembered so well. Outspoken. Jovial. “What’s the matter?” she asked him kindly, thinking excitedly, “Don’t I really know that?”
“Listen, I’ve got to tell you something.”
“Go on.”
“You sure?”
“Hmm.” Mummy, here it comes!
“Tanu, there’s a cockroach on your dress.”
“Ye… Noooooooo!!!!” (55 words)

signing off,

Let the Game Win

Though I am saying this, I don't want the game to win. Let it rain for one more day and we would have a new Ashes champions. If Australia manage to get past 450 in first innings and they have three-four sessions to have a go at English batting line, I predict they're going to win. But just for the way England have played this whole summer, I want them to win. And don't forget they are without Jones, who I daresay would not have allowed Australia to reach so far. Let me clear that I am not against Aussies. They have deserved to win on so many occasions. But this time they remind me of the Indian side which hosted Aussies sometime in 2003. Both India then and Aussies today have underestimated their opponents. And almost all software professionals today will vouch for their disastrous lives after underestimation.

Just a half day of drizzle would be sufficient, God. In case you are wondering where to get the water from, just cut down on some showers in Mumbai. Now, wouldn't that be a win-win situation? :-)

signing off,

Dreams

Ever since I became a programmer (don't fret, it ain't nothing bad!), I had a small dream, of visiting Microsoft, some way or other. Thanks to my friend in Redmond who is working for MS, it came true this long weekend. It was indeed memorable, not exactly as I'd have liked, but for our visits to the two floors in a building - fifth and fourth.

For a moment when C, my friend, after exiting 405 (or it might have been 520, as it is, I am bad at road names, so don't expect anything better in road numbers) drove me towards some deserted streets I thought he was taking me his home. Then he crossed a signal and took right turn and said, this is Microsoft. I was not obviously prepared for this! Man I was at Microsoft office! Then he drove me to his office, showed things around and we went home. Nothing memorable in this, if you are thinking what bakwaas nku is writing.

Then we went to an Indian restaurant - Kanishka, to have some good food. C's friend V, who was with us for dinner, offered us invitation to play. I agreed and we decided to meet at the office again. Me n C left for office after some more loitering. It was a clear night for playing too, I thought. We entered the building and realized C did not know where to go. He took a gamble and set for fifth floor remembering someone had mentioned number 5 sometime. The fifth floor was obviously the wrong one. The first look told us that. But he said let me show you around. And while we roamed there, the big brother somewhere had noticed us. Because suddenly a security guard sprang from nowhere and asked us our IDs. I did not have any of course. So he took down my name from my debit card. And ordered us to leave. While leaving it occurred to C that all the security was because their biggest boss must sit on the fifth floor!! To think of it, I was so close to catch just a glimpse of his office! I cursed my luck for ruining the chance. But at least his floor, nonetheless, I consoled myself!

Now we go to the fourth floor which is our destined place. And here it is. The second dream (for a gaming addict like me) come true in a single night. The XBox! Too much I say! It has a big 42" screen TV attached to it and I can actually play with joysticks, which I have not done since we broke our Nintendo after playing games like Tournament Fighter and Aladin and Nemo during school days. We don't play as much here, because we have to go out tomorrow morning at 10 and it is already 11:30 PM. We just have a dash at Halo 2 and leave the place.

For the 3 days leave I had, I could have gone anywhere in US if I had planned a little bit more. But only for these two hours or so, I am happy I chose Redmond!

signing off,

A True Man

I don't always boast about my memory, but usually I remember almost all birthdays. My boisterous and sarcastic self is prompt in making me realize that I usually remember birthdays if the person happens to be a girl. Ignore that taunt. But today I almost forgot a birthday. So here is my message to the birthday boy.

It was exactly a year ago when sitting cosily in my office chair wondering about my future project (I had just finished then current assignment - or someone else had taken over, I don't exactly remember), I suddenly remembered about my blog. It is a fact that I had started blogging much before than that, on rediffblogs (I don't even remember the url!), but without any considerable progress. Then I had tried blurty too. But I didn't like it too much. Trying to give up on blogs, life was dull, somber and totally un-happening. Then I tried blogger and I kinda liked it. So I continued with it. And here we are after a year together, when my blog says, "Well, we haven't fared that bad, have we?" and my sarcastic self does not agree.

Coming back to the title, it is not me who I am portraying as a true man for forgetting a birthday, but it is my blog, for kicking my south end and telling me that it is his birthday. No woman can do that, believe me. And I am not likely to forget this again. Why did it have to be ghatotkatch?

signing off,

My Latest Crush ...

.. is Debra. Man, isn't she gorgeous! Everybody might be loving Raymond, but I sure hate him.

signing off,

What Did I Do?

Damn that fate. It's second year in running that I will not be home for Ganesh Chaturthi. What did I do to deserve this Ganapati bappa?

Looks like I am not the only one away from home this year though. Not counting that lucky #$%$#& Invinci. My sis will not be home for the first year for Ganesh Chaturthi, when she's enjoying in London with her hubby. My sis-in-law is out to her parent's place for some time now too, for some special reasons this time. Looks like my uncle, aunt, elder uncle, elder aunt, dada, didi n of course mom dad are the only one out there for the puja. Not exactly the full house I'd say!

I said this last year, I am saying it again. I am missing all the fun out there. I'll definitely try to be there next year. Let me be there next year. (nku falls on his already paining knees and says) Plueeezzz!!

signing off,